you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize