I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
