I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
