I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize