New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
