Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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