i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
