we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize