just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
