Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
