OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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