im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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