Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize