I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
