She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
