You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
