You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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