That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
