well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
