remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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