Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize