Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
