brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
