you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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