Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
