I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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