Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
