Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
