Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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