awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
