WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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