i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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