so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Houston, we have a blender
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
