i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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