Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
