Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
