I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
