it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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