He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
