that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
