Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize