I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
