On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
