Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
