If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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