do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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