Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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