Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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