im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
