That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
