Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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