sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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