do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
