Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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