need another drink. this is the easiest way
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
