what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
