So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
