But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
