Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
