she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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