wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
