he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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