I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
