Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
