every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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