he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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