I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
