why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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