The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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