I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
