do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
